The Big Bang!

In the past few years the 4th hasn't exactly turned out as I had planned. Let's see, three years ago we planned a huge family pool party at our home and it rained, rained, rained. Two years ago, we planned a huge family pool party and ended up having to cancel. My mother had eye surgery and we ended up traveling to their home and caring for her. She got very sick on the 4th and ended up in the emergency room all night. Last year, we again planned a huge family pool party and it turned out really great -- for awhile. The weather was great, everyone came and we had lots of fun, but late in the afternoon my baby boy, Jacob, came over and laid down next to me and said he wasn't feeling well. As the evening progressed he felt worse and complained of his stomach hurting. He eventually ended up having emergency surgery.

This year we are again planning the huge family pool party. The weather forecast is for 90's and sunny. Jacob is away this year in Philadelphia. Mommy is going to cry most of the day, but maybe, just maybe through my tears I'll get to see fireworks this year.

Pulling at the Heart Strings

This blog has become an outlet for my thoughts and feelings about parenting, life and marriage. So many times I've written about my struggles with parenting two boys -- two very different boys both in age and personality. I know very well that no two children are ever the same, but my two boys are so different that I wonder how on earth it happened.

I am missing them both today for two very different reasons. Jacob is away in Philadephia on his first mission trip. He left yesterday at 4 a.m. He texted me on and off most of the way and seemed to be a little homesick and anxious. He called around 11:00 last night and sounded some better. Hubby and I prayed for him and are hoping that today he's busy and feeling better. We haven't heard from him, but they do keep them quite busy, which is a good thing. Jacob is my ever present sidekick in life right now and I miss him tremendously. His personality is a lot like mine -- he's open, mouthy, loud, sweet, compassionate and stronger than me. He has a streak of determination a mile wide and a smile that lights up the world. I pray for Jacob this week "to see his faith with new eyes, to deepen his relationship with his Saviour, to find happiness in helping others, to have fun and make sweet memories."

I'm missing Zachary for much different reasons. Zachary is right here in the same city as me, but further away than Jacob is physically. Zachary is smart, so smart that he has always amazed me. He's moody and hard to approach. He's has the most amazing blue eyes and sometimes a boyish charm about him. Right now though he is struggling. I've known it for a long time and I'm powerless to do anything about it. No matter what I say or do I can't reach him. I spend hours praying the same prayer, "Lord, protect my child from harm, protect the people around him, help him to see where he's at in his life and reach out to you, bring him to his knees, please, please spare his life."

Nothing in this world can pull at our heart strings like our children. Nothing brings more happiness to us or more sadness than a child. The days spent raising them from the moment they are placed in our arms seem so difficult. We often think if I can just get them potty trained, if I can just get them in school, thru school, thru college, married, independent. The truth is we move from phase to phase, but it never really ends. We spend the rest of our lives raising them. We spend the rest of our lives hoping, praying that their lives will turn out alright.

I know my God is capable. He is capable where I fail, where I cannot reach, where I cannot go, he is capable. My children were loaned to me, but they are God's forever. I trust my Lord to be their parent, I trust my Lord for his will is divine. I trust my Lord to comfort my mother's heart, to wipe away my tears, my fears. My God is capable of anything.

Adding to the Clan -- Yet Again

We've officially added another member to our ever expanding clan! My youngest nephew's latest addition arrived this afternoon (one week early). Little Aniston weighed in at 6 lbs. 11 oz. My sister has now become granny twice in a month with the arrival of two little girls. YEAH!

Thank you Jesus for Aniston's safe arrival. I pray your arms of protection around Aaron, Jamie and big brother Bryson and they become a family of four.

Summertime Blues

Summertime is supposed to be long and drawn out. You spend days on end lounging by the pool and hoping it doesn't rain. It seems to me that every summer ends up being hurried and frantic. Every year I say this summer we're going to do nothing for two months and -- it never happens. Again, this year I had every intention of doing as little as possible and again I feel like I've failed. I hope to change that (at least a little) in the coming days and maybe, just maybe, by the time Jacob returns from his mission trip things will be under control.

Part of me is excited for this trip and for him and the other part of me (the big, weepy mommy part) is NOT. I want him to have the experience and he is really excited to go, but it's so far from me. Eight to ten hours from me. He's never been that far before. When we signed up back in January I was all for this trip, now I gotta say it, I'm dreading it just a little. I could have signed up as a chaperone, but hubby and I talked about it and decided that it would be a great opportunity for Jacob to see his faith as separate from ours -- to take ownership of it and use it. It sounds great doesn't it? How come I'm having such second thoughts?

Lord and Saviour, my heavenly Father, give me peace about this trip. Help Jacob to engage in opportunities to use his faith and to have a great time. Help me to let go and allow you to be his Father as I should. Help him to recognize you in those he meets and open himself up to your will for his life.

Life's Little Lessons

Sometimes I wonder exactly how I am usable by God. I mean I'm no saint! I'm not out there in the public working every day. I'm just a stay at home mom who sometimes can be quite lazy! So many other people are such blessings to me that I sometimes wonder about my usefulness.

Well, God has certainly placed opportunities by the boatloads the past couple of weeks. I'm so thankful that I've been able to spend time with my new grandneice. She is a really beautiful child and such a sweet, sweet baby. It's also given me the chance to get to know Treva better and to, I hope, be helpful to her. She's doing much better and is now able to move around in the house. I've also been keeping my husband's grandmother this week while his mother is away at the beach on a much earned vacation. I've really enjoyed spending time with her. She's a godly woman and we've had some wonderful conversations about how God has been with her over the years and worked in her life. Since we've been confined at home alot, Jacob and I have spent a great deal of time entertaining each other. We've done alot of little jobs around the house and played some games, but it's also given me time to just talk to him. Unfortunately, I haven't seen hubby as much as I'd like and we all know how much I love spending time with him, but I know after this week Jacob will be going on his mission trip and hubby and I will have many evenings to ourselves. I'm looking forward to that.

I guess the lessons I've learned the past few days have been about slowing down and listening to people. Listening to those around me who just need someone to vent to, someone to love them, someone to show them some kindness. It's all about time and what we do with that time that honors our Lord.

Lord, I can't thank you enough for the opportunities you've placed in front of me the past few days. Thank you for allowing me to give back to those in need. Thank you for giving me precious time with my son. Thank you for using me.

The Pool is Finished!

We managed to get the last coat of sealer on our pool over the weekend and the new patio furniture put out. It looks so great. We had a fabulous time yesterday (Father's Day) with our family. We grilled steaks (good ole Red) and swam all afternoon. It was nice to spend time with my dad and also watch my husband with our boys. How blessed I am to have two godly men in my life. They are both my heroes.

Sweet Baby Blessings

Well, we have officially added to our clan. My sister's oldest son and his wife finally, finally had their baby girl Monday morning. She's a whopper! Nine pounds, 11 ounces. She's a real beauty and such a delicious, sweet thing. Welcome home Reagan Leigh!

Unfortunately, mommy is not doing well and is having to stay in the hospital. It seems that during childbirth her pelvis was cracked. How dreadfully painful. Right now the hospital is working with them to keep little Reagan in the room with her mommy and everyone is taking turns staying so mommy and baby are not separated. Since the baby has been officially discharged the nursing staff cannot assist in taking care of her in any way. So, someone has to be with Treva at all times since she cannot walk. They are giving her some therapy and teaching her how to move about using a walker and cane. It's going to be a little difficult for awhile, but little Reagan is healthy and happy.

We thank you and praise you Lord for bringing little Reagan into our lives. Jesus, more than anything we just pray for your healing hands to be upon Treva. Lord, we pray that you will be with Scott as he tries to be nurse, daddy, husband and provider during this time. As each of us step up to help out, help us to remember to be considerate and compassionate. We ask that you keep them in the palm of your hand and bring them all home soon.